now watching: She’s Gotta Have It

• Favorite Character(s): MARS! Of course Nola. And also Papo!

• Least Favorite Character(s): Jamie, Cheryl & Bianca* (*you’re not supposed to like them), Virgil & Skylar

• Favorite Season(s): Season 2

• Least Favorite Season(s): does not exist!

• Best Character Development: Papo & Shamekka, and yeah I suppose Nola

• Worst Character Development: Jamie.

Once upon a time, honestly not too long ago, I was sooo sure that I needed to be like Nola Darling until I fully matured into womanhood. I even managed to tailor my own tantalizing trifecta. But here I am, still waiting on my grown woman weight and still simping over one guy like the hopeless romantic I am. However, no knocks to Nola, because she's honestly ahead of her time, and has been since her debut in the 80s.

Nola's 3 men standing in front of her painted portrait at her art show; from left to right: Greer, Mars, and Jamie

First things first, we are #TeamMARS over here!! I’m a certified Martian and I implore you to gander at the gallery if you’re asking me why. Is he as stable secure wealthy as Jamie? Not even in his dreams honey. Is he as artistically inclined or informed as Greer? Nah, not really. So, why him???

Mars in 1986 movie She’s Gotta Have It

Besides the fact that he is fiiiineeee (and yes, I do feel that way about Spike Lee’s portrayal as well) he is loyal, as confirmed by his mother in Season 2 (btw, spoiler alert here and all throughout this joint - I think it’s tacky how they tried to make Mars Mookie’s son but as it stands…thank God for all the body parts! Lolol if you know, you know). He wants nothing more than to prove that to Nola, even after she curbs him for 1) the other men 2) Opal 3) Opal related heartbreak and 4) her damn self.

He told her he wanted to buy her brownstone so she wouldn’t have to rent anymore. He stayed true to his word and found out who defaced her artwork. He rode her artwork on his bike over to the New Medina Art Gallery when he wasn’t even invited to the show. He took her to Puerto Rico…TO HIS MAMA’S HOUSE. His sister did a whole spiritual cleansing for her, for the free! All this because, as he says, “Lulu knows how I feel about you.” Like UGH, I SWOON. We STAN. But I do recall, the show is about Nola, so let’s chit chat about her.

Nola and Mars collage

Do not call her a freak. The only person that can label this polyamorous pansexual is Nola.
Do not categorize her art. The only person that can gauge the genre of the Black Female Form is Nola.
Do not come for her community. The only person that can challenge her people’s patience is Nola.
Are you understanding? This is her life, and she’s gonna live it the way she sees fit. But for the first season, she doesn’t see just how unfit it is without being scolded like a kid several times (We’ve all been there, Nola, but why are you learning at your big grown age to carry a key around on a lanyard…). Opal was the most effective at encouraging responsibility, but still, Nola does not fold under force, and that’s something you’ve gotta admire about her.

Nola sitting at the Thanksgiving table…facing all three of her men.

The show presents a few different outside forces that try to manipulate her one way or another, but ultimately Nola is desperate to maintain her voice and share it effectively. I can only relate to that too heavily. However, the real issue I find here (at least comparing myself to what I see in her) is a lack of direction and commitment. Focus can be harnessed, but it gets diverted for too many tasks, too many interests. That’s a part of why we feel we’re constantly having to fight and there’s no safe space to put out guard down and let others in.

There’s not.
We are not secure within ourselves, from taking care of where we lay our head and have a loving bed to describing ourselves as artists and being able to articulate a project’s process. Severely distracted by our liberating liabilities, our grief-stricken good times, but also feeling so in tune through them. And while I do also appreciate an Opal-esque type of rendezvous, please notice that the second season is really tied up in how NOpal gives Nola more of what she’s looking for than all of the three men combined.

That is an interesting take for another time, but I focus on Opal because though she runs a tight ship, that’s what Nola admires and needs. And Opal admires Nola’s creativity, but she was right - Nola is messy and spills onto everyone, and that’s not cool. That’s not what it takes to raise kids or be a teacher/mentor even if you get positive outcomes sometimes. When she decided to just go for it and put all of her art out there (big ups and aspirations!! Favorite part of the whole series), that’s when Nola is really starting to figure things out.

Though I love the movie and the show, I wish an actualized self would’ve been the focus (or we would’ve at least had more time to see it develop on that path) rather than defining yourself as a woman for a man to grasp.